Oy, am I thirsty.
Sorry, I can’t help you.
Oy, am I thirsty!
I can’t help you. You’re in line to vote.
Oy, am I thirsty!!
Sorry, lady.
But you’re literally holding a large bottle of water.
It’s the law.
But I’m pregnant!
So I’d be breaking the law twice. No can do.
But it’s just a fetus. It can’t…


originally published 1/13/2015

First off, please don’t take this as a rant against Obamacare (or in this case, Romneycare). …


This is My Story.

In 2018, I received a call from President Trump. He said, “I’m going to need some help with this Canada brain test they gotta give me because of the extreme radical left. I’m calling on you because you’re the best there is. …


For preventing the grandparents of America,
from being a burden on their children or country
in the time of Coronavirus,
and for making them beneficial to the public.

It is a frustrating sight to those, who quarantine or self-isolate in their home-quarters, when they see the streets, the stores, the…


“By clicking register below, you are acknowledging that an inherent risk of exposure to COVID-19 exists in any public place where people are present while simultaneously holding in your mind the real truth of the matter which is that COVID-19 is a hoax perpetuated by the Democrat left intended to…


The First Eighteen Minutes of Every Passover Seder Held Over Zoom

Hello?
Hi, nana! Hi, papa!
Everybody’s here. Let’s go ahead and start.
Can anybody hear me?
Look, everybody’s here!
I can’t hear you, Becky.
We retell the story of Passover every year
I don’t see anyone.
Look at your table, so lovely…
to remind us of a time
We got everything but the shank bone.
Hi, Becky! Hi, Kim!
Emily, you’re upside…


Urinals and Usability in the Upper Peninsula

I’m not making this up. I was really in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan recently. Specifically, in the restroom at the otherwise pristine Pentoga Park, when I encountered the subject of this installment of The UX of UP. I was repulsed at the sight for a number of (presumably obvious)…


UNESCO’s worried about Siri, but how’s about helping this girl?

To this day, girls worldwide are married-off against their will or trafficked into forced labor and sex slavery. They are forbidden from participating in politics, denied access to education, even raped as a consequence of war. In Egypt, laws discriminate against women with regards to inheritance, marriage, divorce, and child-custody…


Maybe things are fine where you are, but in our house, the kids (three of them) constantly battle to gain Alexa’s favor. They shout over each other at the dinner table in an attempt to gain dominance and make their requests heard by the device. All to no avail, as…

Steven Brykman

Writer slash comedian. In happier times, I was Managing Editor of National Lampoon.

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