A Modest Proposal

For preventing the grandparents of America,
from being a burden on their children or country
in the time of Coronavirus,
and for making them beneficial to the public.

It is a frustrating sight to those, who quarantine or self-isolate in their home-quarters, when they see the streets, the stores, the Starbucks crowded with elders walking through their town, standing in groups of three, four, or six, all in close proximity, like children, laughing and even shaking hands without fear of infection or concerns for the consequences of contagion. These grandparents, instead of heeding the warning of honest “fake news” sources like Reuters and the Associated Press, have been force-fed on Fox News and America One Network, like the helpless infant just dropt from its dam, who happily takes in any milk that exudes forth from its mother’s breast, with little other nourishment, though it be laced with opiates by those who ceaselessly fight for the Pretender in Chief, to turn them into addicts to the teat.

I think it is agreed by all parties, that this prodigious number of grandparents embraced in the arms of the nation, of the Land of Liberty, of the Land of the Free, is in the present deplorable state of the nation, a very great additional grievance; and therefore whoever could find out a fair, cheap and easy method of…