The First Eighteen Minutes of Every Passover Seder Held Over Zoom

Hello?
Hi, nana! Hi, papa!
Everybody’s here. Let’s go ahead and start.
Can anybody hear me?
Look, everybody’s here!
I can’t hear you, Becky.
We retell the story of Passover every year
I don’t see anyone.
Look at your table, so lovely…
to remind us of a time
We got everything but the shank bone.
Hi, Becky! Hi, Kim!
Emily, you’re upside down.
when our people were
Who can find a shank in quarantine?
You keep breaking up.
slaves
I don’t have a Haggadah.
No silly backgrounds, Neumanns.
Noa made our shank out of clay.
to the Pharoah
Look how realistic.
Saul, can you mute? The dog.
She’s so smart, that one.
How do I make it louder?
in Egypt.
We’re enslaved now!
How do I see the Haggadah?
Hi, bubbe! Hi, zayde!
I can’t leave my apartment!
Are we going to get Zoombombed?
Silverman Haggadah? Is that Sarah’s family?
And how Moses
We always use Maxwell House.
No, she set a password.
Joel, can you mute? There’s some noise.
I don’t like that Sarah Silverman.
It’s okay. They can’t hurt your computer.
led the Israelites
Now I can’t hear you!
They just show naked pictures.
Me either, too crude.
We don’t have the same Haggadah.
to freedom.
Look how tall Jake is!
It’s okay. She’s sharing one.
Nazi stuff.
You just don’t appreciate her.
And how GodJake, stand next to your mother. I want to see how tall.
She’s drawing on classic Jewish tradition.
Now your other mother. Stand in the middle.
Why would people do that?
Tradition!!!
sent down the plagues
So tall!
Can everybody hear us?
Because people are crazy, that’s why.
Please excuse Harvey, he’s already on his third…
on the Egyptians.
Sorry about the dog, there’s a squirrel.
Too much time on their hands.
This is a plague!
And to acknowledge
I can’t hear anybody.
We’re being smoted!
Harvey!
that our freedom
Shirley, did you see how tall?
came at the cost
Dad, you need a haircut!
Why are we upside-down?
of their suffering.
Where am I going to find a barber?
For we are all God’s children
Why can’t I hear them?
and God loves us all the same.
I love all of you!
We love you, too!!
When do we eat?